What would my boyfriend do?

When most guys feel the need to express their mushy side, they usually rely on Hallmark to get the words out. Or opt for flowers. Or earrings. To do it for them.

Not LO.

One of the fun things about dating this endlessly fascinating character is that he always comes up with unexpected, bizzare and hilarious ways to display his emotions.

My favorite being this:








But, besides literally wearing his heart all over his chest, he also loves to come up with creative words to make a girl feel special.

About two months into our relationship, I started to write them down. Because, I swear, he needs to have his own line of greetings cards one day.

Here are some of my favorite lines from LO's book of love:

You're so hot, if you were hit in the face with a shovel I would still find you attractive.

I wish you got rabies so you could be rabbit crazy for me.

You're special...and not in that helmet-wearing-in-the-mall kind of way.

If I loved you even more
I would love you a lot
So much so
That I would get a blood clot

You rock my rash (this was last year, when he had shingles on his back- sexy times!)

You are like jam. I am like dry toast. I want you on me!

(talking about my period) Even if it rains in your pants, you will be my sunshine.

You have a very big place in my heart, like a permanent residence, an all brick home, probably built in 1983 when i was born

If I loved you any more, you'd have to get a restraining order.

Kocham cie with every square millimeter of my heart.

You can mess up my sandwich any day

I love you more than the priest loves Jesus (said after coming back from first visit to church together)

I want to pollanate you (said at the butterfly conservatory during the butterfly movie)

I want to be on you like crabs on an overly sexually-active teenager

I want to rape you...with love and affection.

I love you so much..if I loved you any more.........I would................... BURST..of love

Our relationship is like Jesus...except he never gets nailed to the cross

My heart and everything is reserved for you, just like an invalid parking spot

My love for you grows. Like herpes.

I will love you so hard, you will be shitting out hearts. (updated 10.08.09)
Be still, my heart.